Wednesday, March 25, 2009

This Week In History Volume 7!



March 22-28


* In 1894 the first Stanley Cup game was played.

Then, 10 years later, the first goal was scored.

* On March 23, 1933 at the height of “The Great Depression” FDR signed a bill ending prohibition. 

Thus March 24, 1933 wil forever go down in history as “The Great Hangover”. 
(I can only imagine what it will be like the day after they cure AIDS.)

* In 1945 “The Arab League” was founded when a charter was adopted in Cairo, Egypt.

The Arab League differs from NATO in that it has 22 members, only includes countries in the Middle East and also does not allow the use of a “designated hitter”.

* In 1978 Karl Wallenda passed away after falling from a tight rope in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

Henceforth Karl became quite famous as the “Dying Wallenda”.

* In 1969 John Lennon and Yoko Ono celebrated their honeymoon by holding a “bed-in” for peace at the Amsterdam Hilton.

It would have been more effective as a stunt but since they were newlyweds most of the media just assumed they were really, really horny. Or since it was Amsterdam, really, really stoned.

Trivia Time!!!

Q. In 1775 Patrick Henry delivered a famous speech where he said “Give me liberty or give me...”

A. Death

Bonus Factoid!!

This was considered a great improvement over his first draft of the speech which read, “Get your hands off me you damn dirty apes.” 

Sunday, March 8, 2009

This Week In History Volume 6!

March 8-14

* In 1916 Francisco “Pancho” Villa led a group of Mexicans across the US border in a surprise raid.

It wasn’t actually surprising that Pancho Villa led a raid. He was a bandit, after all.  What was surprising is that when the raid was over all the Mexicans went home.

* In 1942 the army of Holland surrendered to Japanese forces on the island of Java.

Which just goes to show you cannot fight a war wearing wooden shoes while higher than Cheech Marin at a Los Lobos concert.

* In 1977 astronomers found rings around Uranus.

 All I'm saying is, you should probably get that looked at.

 * In 1945 The Royal Air Force dropped the first 22,000 pound “Grand Slam” bomb on the town of Bielefeld, Germany.

 This quickly became a much more devastating weapon than the formerly utilized “Moons Over My Hammy” missile.

 Trivia Question Time!!

 Q. In 1959 what famous doll made her first appearance?

 A. Barbie!

 Ironically, the All-American Barbie was based on the design of a popular German doll called "Bild Lilli".

So I think we all know what that means. Barbie hates Jews.

Now over the years Barbie has been criticized for giving young girls an unrealistic expectation of what their bodies should look like.

In fact according to a health study Barbie would be 5-9, have a 36 inch bust, 18 inch waist and 33 inch hips which means she would lack the 17-22 percent body fat required for a woman to menstruate.

Wow, as if she couldn’t get any more perfect!

Bonus Question!

Do you know what else Barbie lacks that would technically cause her not to be able to menstruate?

Answer: A vagina.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

This Week In History Volume 5!


March 1-7

This Week in History Volume 5

* In 1807 Congress passed an act banning the importation of slaves into the US.

It was all part of a big program by the government to get people to "buy American".

It was also in reaction to a shipment of slaves from China that were found to contain very high levels of lead. 

* In 1962 Wilt Chamberlain set the single-game scoring record in the NBA buy putting the ball in the hole for 100 points.

Later Wilt would become famous for his ability to put something else in the hole over and over and over. 

And over.

* In 2002 Switzerland’s citizens narrowly voted to become a member of the United Nations. 

Wow, the UN was only founded in '46. Way to take a stand Switzerland.

Which brings up the question – do you know why Swiss cars suck? 
Because they’re always in neutral.

* In 1946 Sir Winston Churchill first used the phrase “Iron Curtain” in a speech in Missouri.

Some other iconic phrases Churchill coined but never got credit for include 
“free-ballin’”“you go, girl”, the ever-popular “Hitler sucks ass” and of course speaking of iron curtains Churchill also came up with the now even more famous expression “beef-curtains”.

* In 2001 35 people were crushed in Mecca during the annual pilgrimage known as the Hajj. Do you know how many died? 

Allah.

Trivia Question Time!!!

Question: In 1876 who was granted a patent for the telephone?

Answer : Alexander Graham Bell

His first words were widely thought to be, “Watson, is that you?”

To which Watson replied, 
“Of course it’s me, douchebag. I’m the only other guy on the planet with a frickin’ telephone.”

Thanks!
Sean