I am a nervous wreck of steel.I am a beautiful crater of hate.
I am a strange rat shivering under an umbrella of uncertainty.
I am done with my shows in Dayton. For the year.
It's getting towards that part of the cycle. Time to start booking. Time to worry about January.
I miss smoking copious amounts of pot after a performance.
It made it easier to be alone in a strange city after a show.
I haven't smoked any since January.
It made things interesting and mellow and most of all - when combined with the correct amount and type of other substances - unfeeling.
NyQuil and Xanax alone don't do the trick. They help but I need to shut it down completely somtimes.
To escape from my thoughts for a brief instant of calm in an ocean of fret.
I need it.
My uninterrupted minute of love and serotonin overload.
THC mixed with Xanax mixed with "Chris Mathews' Hardball" mixed with the New York Times Crossword.
Alas, what bliss is this!
Unfortunately there is always a price to pay for escape. The ticket out costs more than I want to pay.
I always wind up back in my own skin, missing something I can't get back.
Drugs suck and they ruin your life.
But like ex-girlfriends and other things that are bad for you, well...
... sometimes you miss them.
Other than that it was a great week and Dayton fucking rocks! See you next year D-town!
I drive to Sioux Falls day after tomorrow. More updates as events warrant.
Peace,
Sean
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